The newest illegal Israeli settlement

Is it just me, or is anyone else waiting for the UN to condemn Israel for illegally occupying outer space?

Even worse, they're planning illegal settlement expansion there — on the moon!

The Zionist regime is insolently guilty of spreading its racist message throughout the solar system!

(The expression "Am Yisrael chai" is egregiously racist, of couse, because it implies all others are dead. And since when does "Yisrael" have the right to live, let alone exist?)

Moreover, their spacecraft is guilty of Apartheid, since they only included a Jewish Bible, while the Koran and other holy books were excluded. What bigotry!

And why weren't any Palestinians on board? Ethnic cleansing!!

And how dare they call it "B'resheet" ("In the beginning"), a Hebrew word and the name of the first book of the Bible which implies Jewish primacy or historical precedence? Everyone knows that "in the beginning," there were only Palestinian Arabs! Jews are just colonizers, just like they're attempting to colonize the moon!

Where is UNESCO to protest this travesty?

What do those Jews think they're doing up there, anyway?

Israel might be the fourth nation to land on the moon, but they're the first one-and-only nation to unlawfully occupy Space Palestine in brazen violation of international law!

I'm just waiting for all the Helen Thomas's of the world to tell those Jewish space settlers to "get the hell out of space and go back to Poland."

Surely we'll hear from Farrakhan telling those "Jewish devils" to get the hell out of the heavens and back to hell where they belong. Good heavens!

This is all part of a devious Jewish conspiracy to dominate the Milky Way.

Yup, it's all about those spacetraveling Benjamins, baby.

And since when is Israel allowed to have spaceships while Arabs have none? They're making a mockery of Islam.

And how dare they attempt to land on the moon? The moon belongs to Islam! Let's not forget the "Muslim Crescent!" Those moon-landing Jews are guilty of shameless cultural appropriation!

Israel is just trying to gain sympathy from space enthusiasts... they're guilty of spacewashing!

There they go again, trying to hypnotize the world. And now they're trying to hypnotize the moon too!

Surely all lunar-conscious progressives ought to step up their BDS efforts to protest this deplorable lunar Apartheid.

Speaking of lunar, isn't this lunacy all too familiar?

Sure sounds like looney lunar tunes to me, but the scary thing is, earthlings are buying it! Yikes.

All jokes aside, I'll just conclude with a moon-related blessing:

כשם שאני רוקד כנגדך ואיני יכול לנגוע בך  כך לא יוכלו כל אויבי לנגוע בי לרעה

"Just as I leap toward you (Moon) yet cannot touch you, so too may all our enemies and their rhetoric be unable to touch us harmfully."

סימן טוב ומזל יהא לנו ולכל ישראל

Mazal tov to Israel for this epic and heavenly achievement!

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About the Author

Rabbi Michoel Green
Rabbi Michoel Green is a native of California ordained in NY and has over 25 years experience in Jewish outreach and education. Author of several books, he currently directs the Chabad Center of Westborough, MA.

Website: www.jackengelhard.com